Fit To Print

September 4th 2006 by E..

Normally, I don’t write about things that are going on in the news..mainly because they tend to be boring, of they are about some celebrity nonsense that I just have no interest in…

Every once in a while, however, a news article comes up that catches my attention and warrants comments like nothing else…Last night, I was in Wawa after coming back from working The Folk Show (Gene says that he can get me one of the Gene Shay bobble head dolls, which is good, because my Mexican wrestler bobble head is getting lonely)…I saw a newspaper, could have been The Intellegencer (which would be my favorite newspaper name if not for the Times-Picayune), whose headline read, “Man Drowns Trying To Save Dog“…I had to take a good look at it to make sure I was reading it right…”Man Drowns Trying To Save Dog“…now here’s what Dad and I agreed on:

If the headline read, “Dog Drowns Trying To Save Man“, the immediate reaction from any smart human being would be, “Aww, good ol’ Sparky…A trooper ’til the end!”…Disney would subsequently buy the rights to Sparky’s story, and then get Phil Collins to record a crappy song for it…I smell a blockbuster…

However, since the headline was “Man Drowns Trying To Save Dog“, the initial reaction is, “…idiot.”

And, in case you thought the addage “What goes around comes around” fell out of style when RATT wrote a song about it (rest in peace, Uncle Milty), just ask Crocodile Hunter and Australian Stereotype Reinforcer Steve Iriwn…wait, you can’t!…just goes to show that if you play with stingrays, you’re going to get a barbed tail through your heart…tough break, Steve, maybe there’s some wild extreme things you can do in the hereafter, I mean, we all saw

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